We may just have a different concept of the word "serve", but I am not speaking in terms of being a servant in the terms of a bond-slave. I am speaking of being a voluntary blessing and server of others.
A Minister is a servant. He SERVES others with the Word, counsel and guidance.
When a man washes his wife with the "washing of water by the Word" is this not a "serving" capacity? As she sits quietly and receives the Word and the washing of the Spirit...is she not being served?...attended to? On her part...submission and obedience is absolutely necessary to receive that cleansing.
All of this "serving of one another" and "submitting to one another in the fear of God" is STILL to be done within the context of an AUTHORITY STRUCTURE. This structure of authority SHOULD be recognized and respected by all parties, but of course we know they aren't at first. Even Jesus said that He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.
In many cases authority and obedience need to be enforced and demanded, but God's best is that individuals grow in Christ-like character to where obedience and respect come from a transformed heart.
A leader should not have to always be enforcing his authority and subduing his subjects. What a miserable existence that would be. A Father could never enjoy his wife or children, but would have to be constantly proving his rulership.
God calls us all...including husband and wife, "joint-heirs of the grace of Life". This means we are joint recipients and partakers of God's power, strength and wisdom to be what we are meant to be.
God's authority structure is a place of character boundaries and behavior guidelines while we all grow in grace, as we grow into Christ's image, and as we ALL grow up into the full measure of the stature of Christ as His many-membered body.
This authority structure..."God, Jesus, man, woman, children"...applies to home and church.
But let us remember that we are all brothers and sisters, and sons and daughters of God. The fashions of this world, including marriage, are temporary institutions of this temporal realm. Even church ministry is a temporary structure for this church-age dispensation.
We must keep Jesus and the Father as our foremost example of eternal submission and obedience, within which is a RELATIONSHIP and an ENJOYMENT of each other in the ages to come. They are partakers of deity together, and all trust is given from one to the other, and yet still....there is a worship and obedience to a Sovereign and the Source of all Life...the Father.
As yet, there is still a structure to adhere to for the male and female characteristics and roles of behavior. This is where the perversion and disorder comes in...when this Scriptural structure is transgressed...violated...and the characteristics of the male and/or female become perverted. Men becoming effeminate and women becoming domineering and masculine.
This is why we are given "Christ and the Church" as the best example of this authority and submission relationship. Try to imagine Jesus talking and fussing with the Father, or the Bride fussing with Jesus...as some sisters fight and resist these Truths and you will soon see the perversion and chaos!
This is what we are up against and purposing to correct in this hour of great darkness and deception. All things are being restored within the ranks of God's Elect!